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Because No One Remembers What's Happening On New Girl, A Quick Pre-Premiere Review

By GossipRevealed / Published on Thursday, 31 Dec 2015 08:51 AM / No Comments / 150 views

New Girl returns on January 5, just 10,000 years after season four concluded. At least, that’s how it feels, right? We realized that we’re having a hard time coming up with where the gang left off—blame a year crammed with twists and turns on other shows—and we thought you might be too. So let’s recap where we are headed into season five:

These are the credits now. We’re only half-kidding, reminding you about this…the photo-collage sequence hasn’t been around long enough to really take hold in our brains—and had we not refreshed ourselves on it, we might have been slightly shocked to show up January 5 and not see cardboard sailboat cutouts.

Coach left again. Damon Wayans, Jr.’s post-HappyEndings return to the show brought plenty of punchlines but not much plot, and we finally learned how many roomies puts the loft over narrative capacity. So the writers jettisoned him again, having him double down on his fledgling relationship with cellist May—in the finale, Coach agreed to follow her to New York.

Schmidt and Cece are ENGAGED. Much like the credits, this development refuses to sink in—have these two thought this through? Does Cece know she’ll never have a pot of night cream to herself again? And what does it mean for the future of the show? (Here’s why we think it means the end is near.)

Jess and Nick status report: Proceed with caution. The finale saw the two of them independently leaving the door open for a rekindling. After vowing to get rid of their their “sex mug”—the cup they used to leave out as a signal to each other—each of them tried to rescue it from the trash, only to find that it had already been salvaged. Cue smug “huh” looks on both their parts, as Jess and Nick both imagined that the other had taken the mug. In reality, Winston had repurposed it as a dish for Ferguson.

new-girl-season-5-premiere-jess

Jess starts out the season in leg and arm casts. She apparently fell down the stairs. When adorkability goes too far, you know?

And as if that wasn’t enough bad luck: Then she gets jury duty. Zooey Deschanel’s first child, daughter Elsie Otter, was born last July, and Deschanel’s maternity leave interrupted production. So producers arranged a storyline in which Jess gets sequestered on jury duty and needs to evacuate the loft for several weeks; she sublets her room to a pharmaceutical rep, who will be played by Megan Fox. Overall, the guys won’t be weird about it.

The premiere picks up at Cece and Schmidt’s engagement party. And the clip above offers a final reminder: No matter how long it’s been, this show never needs more than a minute to win back our affections.

Photos: Courtesy of FOX

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