Warning: The following contains major spoilers from tonight’s new episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. If you haven’t tuned in yet, you may want to click away. Consider yourselves warned.
We had a feeling that whatever Hive had up his (their?) sleeve after returning to Earth was going to be pretty major, but we had no idea it was going to literally put all of humanity into jeopardy.
As the team swung into action on tonight’s all-new episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. to rescue an infected Daisy (Chloe Bennet)—who was quaking the entire S.H.I.E.L.D. compound apart after revealing she’d been turned when we last saw her—she and Hive (Brett Dalton) embarked on their demented SkyeWard reunion, which also involved collecting more Inhumans to infect and apparently buying a whole damn town.
At first, Hive’s plan sounds beautiful. Admirable, even. “After we’re finished, there will be no more war. No more pain. Especially now that we’re together,” he told Daisy. Who among us doesn’t want to see an end to war and pain? Let’s hear more!
“It’s time we took back this planet,” he continued. “Made it the home Inhumans have always deserved.” Oh. Um. Maybe we should’ve stopped while we were ahead.
Of course, none of this was alarming to Daisy. She’s always wanted a family, a place to belong, and, as Fitz (Iain De Ceastecker) and Simmons (Elizabeth Henstridge) have discovered, Hive’s parasitic control has her all doped up on pleasure. “It’s like this emptiness I’ve always had is gone,” she says. Hoo boy, this is one habit that’s going to be hard to kick.
That’s not to say that there isn’t a plan to rescue Daisy. The team always has a plan and, tonight, that involved FitzSimmons heading off to Romania to find the disgraced Dr. Holden Radcliffe (John Hannah), a rumored transhumanist (think people who replace body parts with tech a la Coulson’s hand, though not out of necessity, but a desire to become something more than human) who they believe to be their best hope at disinfecting their fallen agent. Little did they know that it was a race to Radcliffe’s lair.
After Daisy and Hive scooped up Alisha (an Inhuman who can send doubles of herself elsewhere) and James (that Australian guy from last week who hadn’t gone through Terrigenesis yet)—as well a mysterious object buried beneath James’ house that Hive only refers to as “the only thing that can destroy me”—they hightail it to Romania and snatch Radcliffe right out from Fitz’s hands. Daisy tries to tell Fitz that she doesn’t want to have to hurt him or Simmons, but it’s a bit of a mixed message because she’s also using her quake powers to nearly choke him to death.
While Fitz was having the life almost squeezed out of him, Simmons was cornered by Hive, allowing her to encounter whatever of Will is actually left inside. Sensing not very much, she fired off three shots into his gut before getting away, but it didn’t do any lasting damage to the insane Inhuman because the episode closed with he and his band of happy host heads, along with the captured Radcliffe, walking down an empty street as Hive revealed even more of his plan.
“We are one organism, seeking change. And with your help we’re gonna redefine humanity, permanently,” he told the doctor. How, you ask? “By recreating the same Kree experiment that was done to me. And this is where it all begins.” And no, not in the house they’re standing outside of. He means the whole freaking town. It might be time for Coulson to call in some of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s friends for help. Where are the Avengers when you need ’em?
– FitzSimmons finally had sex. We repeat: FitzSimmons finally had sex! Their timing may not be the best, considering the global catastrophe unfolding around them, but if it gets us more adorkable dialogue like “Just to be clear: Are you comparing us sleeping together to the event horizon,” we’re fine with it.
– This whole new transhumanism subplot is creepy, but it’s also really reminding us of Orphan Black. At least Coulson got that cool shield installed into his hand!
– May: “Phil, you’re not her father.”
Coulson: “No, but she’s the closest thing I have to a daughter.”
– “No. I bought us a whole town.” Shiver.
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on ABC.